Keeping baby safe
Ever since sending in the registration for various baby
purchases we have been receiving a different parenting magazine every day. Emily swears she didn’t order them but
for some reason we can’t seem to part with Mount Magazine that is growing under
our coffee table. I thumbed
through these magazines the other night only to find out that Parenting,
Parents, and American Baby magazines all agree: I am a horrible parent.
I think it was the Thanksgiving 2009 issue of Parents
Magazine that had an article on how to keep your baby safe during the holiday
season. And sure enough I found
childproofing tips in all the other publications as well.
Apparently, if you don’t have a lock, cover, cushion, clamp,
brace, or gate for anything in your home that opens, closes, slides, or exists
for the sole purpose of taunting your child then you are doing parenthood wrong
and you should be ashamed.
Before Campbell started crawling we had some houseguests for
a weekend in the form of a 1-year-old girl and her mom, a devout follower of
parenting advice magazines. During
this short stay we realized how bad of parents we are. We have ridiculously long cords for our
blinds, dog food, a DVD player with buttons, electrical outlets, and pictures
of our family in plain sight.
By the end of their stay every lamp, book, decoration, and coaster
that we insist our daughter keep her hands off had made it’s way to higher
ground so that this curious child that is old enough to understand ‘no’
wouldn’t accidentally concuss herself with a picture of my grandma.
To ease tensions around the house we went out and bought
some outlet covers while she was in town so her daughter could survive our
house and apparently all the small metal objects just lying around waiting to
be jabbed in to our outlets.
With new outlet covers we were finally on our way to being
good parents until the very first day Campbell started to crawl and ripped the
first outlet cover out that she saw and tried to put said small plastic life
saver in her mouth. I had to use a
screwdriver, pliers, and act of congress to pull an outlet cover off so I could
vacuum once but apparently if you are a 1-year-old that has been staring at
that thing for 6 months while waiting to learn to crawl you have time to devise
a plan of attack. And the
one cover I did finally pry off also ended up in Campbell’s mouth. Thankfully, I can now vacuum at a
moment’s notice to my heart’s content.
We also tried to coexist with the cabinet locks that were
installed by our home’s previous owner.
They are perfect for teaching Campbell what it feels like to slam her
fingers in a door since she doesn’t quite have the faculties to know to let go
when the door she is pulling on stops abruptly and her momentum sends the door
with fingers inside crashing back to the closed position. I’ve fallen victim to this before as
well which has increased the range of vocabulary my daughter gets to hear me
mutter. So, aside from our drawer
I call “Things that cut things” which contains every knife, peeler, corer and
slap chopper, we are doing away with our cabinet security measures.
Maybe being brought up by 2 bad parents that expected me to
listen and follow rules is where I get the notion that my child doesn’t have to
be wrapped in that popping bubble wrap 24 hours a day to stay safe. Although, that would be awesome to have
that much bubble wrap lying around.
Truthfully, I understand that there are some common sense
precautions everyone should take and I know not everyone can keep as close an
eye on their children as we collectively can right now. But there has to be line drawn
somewhere. Children need to be
taught what is ok and what isn’t.
And they need to learn that it sucks to bump your head or pinch your
fingers and life is so much more enjoyable if you can avoid said
situations.
I always had access to the pots and pans, the refrigerator,
and unlocked toilet seats unless I was told otherwise. I shudder to think of the additional
complexes I would have today if my formative years were spent not being able to
trust a toilet seat to be unlocked when it was needed.